The Cash Cow is my future, and other bad metaphors

As of today, I have officially spent a week and a half in Australia! I have not been bitten by a Huntsman spider or gotten dive-bombed by a magpie or attacked by a drop bear yet, (thanks for your concern America – drop bears are REAL).

I can also confirm that Men at Work’s legendary 1981 anthem “Down Under” really captures the experience. For live footage of me stepping off the airplane in Melbourne, skip to 1:35 of this video and check out those sweet, sweet moves.

The only things they missed were the Tim Tams and the occasional rude cockatoo wake up call.

All jokes aside, it’s been a really nice stay so far. It’s a pretty decent way to spend your time in limbo, if I may shamelessly refer to my blog title in text.

I’ve been watching a lot of Australian morning news shows on weekdays, mainly because a) I am becoming really invested in the fates of the crocodile/shark attack victims that seem to be pretty common, and b) the Sunrise Cash Cow is THE BEST THING ON TELEVISION ANYWHERE EVER.



For those of you unacquainted with the Cash Cow, it’s basically this big cash giveaway this news show does every morning. You enter the giveaway the previous day, and then whenever they call you the day of the giveaway, you have to answer in 3 rings to win $10,000+ in prize money. They have this guy/girl dress up in a full body cow suit and dance around to really create the experience.

I can’t exactly explain why I find this so entertaining. The epic disappointment when someone doesn’t answer the phone? The cheers and tears of a winner’s emotional phone journey? The lady who answered the phone one day last week saying “I wake up with TODAY!”, thinking it was a different morning news channel’s cash giveaway?

(“Get stuffed!” says that bloke on the right.)

I write about this for my first post on “limbo”  because graduating college and entering the adult world is a lot like answering the Cash Cow phone call with “I wake up with TODAY!!”. Here you are, just minding your own business, trying to get a degree, calling all the TV stations for a chance to win money/a job, and then you graduate/get called by Sunrise, and you go, oh shit! I WAKE UP WITH TODAY!! Wait, what happened? Is this a good thing in my life or did I just get humiliated on live TV?

I realize that metaphor fell apart a long time ago, but I feel that lady on a personal level. None of us really know what we’re doing – we’re just calling all the stations hoping we hear back. And if you’re anything like me and the Sunrise winner, you’ll probably muck it up a bit/say things like “I stalked your LinkedIn!” during a job interview.

But they still gave this poor lady the prize, so it’s a happy ending. Even in the void of post-grad life, we can still win and stuff. Even if you answer the phone with a rival station’s motto.

Spending this month in beautiful Melbourne is doing a lot to help me decompress from an intense few years of my life. I get to spend a lot of quality adventure time with my favorite Aussie guy and eat a lot of white chocolate Tim Tams. And every day, I can watch the Cash Cow and remember that awesomeness exists! You just have to enter the contest.

*mic drop*.

(I promise all my posts won’t be so boring. I had to get that metaphor out of my system.)

(Any news channels in America interested in hiring me to be the Cash Cow for their morning show? Will provide sweet, sweet dance moves.)